Parents: 8 Things You Do That Are Damaging Your Relationship with Your Children

Telling their personal business to your friends or family.  This is the number one complaint I hear from teenagers.  “I don’t tell her things because then she tells people and I don’t want them to know”.  It’s almost always the case they don’t want you to tell their dad, their grandmother or your best friend […]

By |March 8th, 2019|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Parents: 8 Things You Do That Are Damaging Your Relationship with Your Children

Should I Tell My Child About……?

One question I often get asked is, “Should I tell my child about (some difficult topic)?”  In order to answer, I often go back to a book by Marsha Linehan, Ph.D. where she describes the childhood environment of individuals who are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.

People diagnosed with BPD had an “invalidating environment” or they […]

By |September 21st, 2017|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Should I Tell My Child About……?

Hakomi: Body Centered, Mindfulness-Based Therapy

For the past several months, I’ve been traveling to Austin, Texas for a comprehensive 2-year training in Hakomi therapy.  Hakomi is an Native American word that means, “where do you stand in relation to these many realms?”  I learned about Hakomi when I was 25-years-old in my Master’s program when we had a guest speaker […]

By |September 13th, 2017|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Hakomi: Body Centered, Mindfulness-Based Therapy

Good Functional Family Rules

The book The Family, by John Bradshaw, was published back in 1988.  I’ve been rereading it.  It’s a great book if you want to look at family dynamics and the roles we play to get our needs met.  He goes into detail even beyond the idea of the scapegoat, the superhero and the lost child. […]

By |June 9th, 2015|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Good Functional Family Rules

Developing a Mindfulness Practice

The people I work with have extraordinarily busy lives. They have problems that need dealt with or ones that threaten on the horizon. Life is difficult, no matter how positive you try to be. I’ve been thinking “what is one thing that really could help?” Because we can’t all quit our […]

By |June 5th, 2015|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Developing a Mindfulness Practice

The Dance of Anger – Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.

I think this is an important classic on anger and assertiveness.  Many people tell me: “I can’t figure out the line of when I need to be assertive or just let it go”.  In fact, I get asked the question many times a month, if not a week!  Where is that line exactly and how […]

By |January 23rd, 2015|Uncategorized|Comments Off on The Dance of Anger – Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.

Gaslighting article

www.goodtherapy.org/blog/gaslighting-a-slow-burning-abuse-tactic-0121154

 

 

By |January 23rd, 2015|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Gaslighting article

28 Purpose Focused Activities

Okay, I haven’t forgotten about the follow up to the last post.  In case you haven’t read it, I basically said I almost died from pneumonia in November (no joke) and had the awakening moment that if I don’t do that thing I’ve always wanted to do, it’s basically now or never.  I also did […]

By |December 17th, 2014|Uncategorized|Comments Off on 28 Purpose Focused Activities

The Bad Things Lead to Purpose?

Many times people come to see me after they’ve experienced something bad like a trauma, an illness, a divorce, a breakup, or a job change. I’m calling these things the “bad things”. These bad things not only rock our world, they change our worldview. We thought life was going to take one path, things were […]

By |November 23rd, 2014|Uncategorized|Comments Off on The Bad Things Lead to Purpose?

The Role of Shame in Trauma and Abuse

Shame is one of the biggest barriers to treating anyone who’s suffered abuse or been the victim of a crime. This isn’t the kind of shame that is like having something stuck in your teeth at the dinner table. Rather, it’s an “I can’t think straight”, face hot, lips feel like they are burning off […]

By |October 27th, 2014|Uncategorized|Comments Off on The Role of Shame in Trauma and Abuse